Deadbeat College Grad

I did it. The big one. The four year degree. The B.A. The end of the most important experience of one’s life. My reward? Laziness and the air of uselessness. I have to make excuses to run errands and pester my friends to entertain me. I work a part time job and rarely before 4 pm. 7am rise and shine routine? Try painstakingly forcing myself to open the blinds by 11. I tried to prepare by reminding myself for how awkward this transition was going to be. The phasing out of training and the immersion into professional…minus the professional part. Let’s be honest, the “phase,” “transition,” and any other action verb has yet to take place. Limbo. It’s less awkward than it is just plain despairing. Speaking of action verbs, I spent 2 hours trying to come up with half a dozen for my resume. It’s hard to think about how you implement, embark, produce, achieve, etc when you can’t remember a single productive thing you’ve done in the past 31 days.

But there are those day-to-day accomplishments I can boast. Today’s resume:

Laundry Attendant              11:00 – Present

Azusa, CA

• Successfully accounted for each item of dirty laundry, organized into corresponding color piles, and transferred into appropriate machinery

Kitchen Associate              1:15 – 1:35

Azusa, CA

• Initiated the cleansing of macaroni-encrusted pans and implemented a new recycling-trash bag distinction program

I get jealous every time I hear of someone landing a professional position. And then I remember, oh yeah, I probably need to apply somewhere. But I have somehow become comfortable with the steady pace of mediocrity. I have missed the distinction between want and need–and because I have less money in my bank account than the amount of monthly rent, I should probably figure out which of those words relates to my job search.

I’ve never of the day: Never had a real job. A salaried one.

Further notes of self-deprecation: I am beginning to question my abilities as an English degree-holder. Dear Michael Chabon, you force me to carry a dictionary.

On a lighter note: Oh hey cute policeman in the coffee shop. Glendora Police Department: what up?

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Tags: college, job search